


Inside My Palace I Am Homeless

by honEy D (nitori_chan_san)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Lovers, Historical, Minor Violence, Multi, Polyamory, Secret Relationship, but fictional
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 17:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16791559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitori_chan_san/pseuds/honEy%20D
Summary: A compassionate crown prince who secretly roams the streets, forced to become a king and dragged into political games.An intelligent doctor’s son with an interest for politics, taken to the palace by the love of his life to become the Royal Advisor.A spirited prince who just wanted to protect his sisters, forced to leave his home to help out his kingdom.Unfortunate circumstances bring the three together and confront them with the choice between love and duty.





	Inside My Palace I Am Homeless

**Author's Note:**

> _prompt: Character A is heir to the throne and is secretly seeing the royal advisor, B, behind closed doors. When the king dies, A is suddenly thrust into their new duties and before they know it, A is forced into an arranged marriage with C, who's from a neighboring kingdom given as a peace offering. This makes B jealous, and as a result they don't treat C too kindly._
> 
> Dear prompter, thank you for leaving this amazing idea! I don’t know if I did it justice, but I tried my hardest:) I'm sorry that I couldn't complete the whole fic in time, but I at least wanted to post one chapter. I promise I will finish it as soon as I can! In the meantime, I hope you'll enjoy this first chapter.  
> Since the deadline was very tight, I postponed the beta-ing. So sorry for mistakes that will likely be there. 
> 
> Important note: In this royal AU relationships between two men or women are socially accepted. However, kings and queens require heirs and so it’s not unusual for them to have an additional wife or husband.

“The farmers aren’t happy, Your Majesty. The dry season has been going on for a long time, and they can barely take the demand,” Royal Advisor Kim Dongyoung formally stated, eyes serious and hands clasped behind his back. Despite standing in front of the platform that the golden throne was situated on, he didn’t make eye contact with the king, it being something that was not allowed to be done in public.

The crown prince watched the advisor wait for an answer. He was a sight to see for sure with his black hair swept backward and his formal clothing that was obligatory when meeting the king. It was almost sad that this was the closest they had been in the last ten days. And even then it was rather _so close, yet so far._ The prince sighed as discreetly as possible.

He finally tore his eyes away from his secret lover and cast a glance sideways, at his father who was sunken in thoughts. Had his father always looked this old, he wondered? This tired?

Eventually, the king hummed thoughtfully. He was cladded in his official robes too and his usually black beard was now fused with grey hairs, revealing his age that neared sixty. He was seated on his throne, placed on a higher platform than the other people present. The crown prince was next to him, his seat a little lower than the powerful man’s. Ten Council members, five on each side of the path that led to the throne, were installed on silky cushions.

“And what would you advise me to do?” The king’s deep voice resonated through the room, not unkindly.

Doyoung nodded, having been expecting the question. “I would suggest to lower the taxes for the farmers and to invest in import from our neighboring kingdoms.”

One of the ten council members, an old, thin man, whom the prince recognized as the head of one of the wealthiest families of the kingdom, jumped up from his seat.

“Outrageous!” He said with a raised voice. “Taxes are what keeps them at bay. The capital needs the money. How unhonorable of you to suggest begging our neighbors for help. How can you call yourself the Royal Advi-”

“Enough,” the king called out tiredly. “Let’s discuss this some more, in a civil way. I think we-”

The crown prince tuned out when his father started to speak and his attention shifted to the Royal Adviser again instead. His head was lowered and he could see him biting his bottom lip in frustration, holding himself back from interfering. The prince knew he was angry - he could read him like an open book.

Soon feline eyes found his and the prince always felt a little spark creep along his spine when it happened. Doyoung’s eyes were captivating after all; they held an intelligent glimmer, a passionate sparkle. A deep brown color that most people would find boring, but he could lose himself in every day. He smiled a little at the advisor, knowing it wasn’t professional, but reasoning that probably nobody was paying attention to him when the king spoke. It was a silent promise. And it seemed to give the slightly younger man strength because he lifted his chin, his face now set in determination.

When the king finished his commentary and several other council members had said their parts, Doyoung spoke up again.

“I don’t think it’s a weak measure to ask for help, Your Majesty. We have simply suffered more from the drought due to the topography of our country. If we do nothing, many villagers and animals will die. It will cause ruckus not only in the peripheral areas but also in the capital.”

“We will just have to pray to our gods to gift us rain,” another man called out, receiving sounds of agreement from around him.

The prince closed his eyes in irritation, tightening the grip on his own hands in his lap. It would be out of place to speak out, but the careless thoughts of the conservative men in front of him were getting on his nerves. He knew they were getting on Doyoung’s nerves too.

Suddenly, the crown prince heard coughing on his left and his full attention was now on the king, who shortly after the first cough started to heave between short coughing fits. The prince’s brows knitted together in worry. This wasn’t the first time it had happened, however, his father was good at hiding any weaknesses he may have and convincing people he was okay.

It made the prince feel uneasy.

“Your Highness,” Doyoung asked tentatively. “Are you alright? Should we postpone the meeting?”

“Father, maybe you should rest,” the crown prince too suggested.

The king made a dismissive gesture with his hand and cleared his throat “I’m alright, Youngho.” He indicated for Doyoung to continue. “Go on, please.”

And so, despite worry visible in everyone’s eyes, they continued the meeting. The crown prince sighed at his father’s stubbornness. He could see one of his hands trembling and his chest rising with each quick breath. It unsettled him. His father was always the epitome of strong and healthy. The last two weeks, however, his health had been declining. He hadn’t said so himself, but Youngho knew his father well enough to know.

He had to let it go though if the king wished so. For now at least. And so he politely tried to listen to the rest of the discussion topics. However, his eyes and attention always shifted to the Royal Advisor and his mind kept thinking about how much he longed to see and touch him in private.

***

“Unhonorable?!” Doyoung fumed as he paced through the reading room in the back of the palace’s library. Doyoung was still wearing his official uniform and his expensive sandals clicked against the wooden floor in the almost empty room as he walked. “Can you believe that snake called me that? _Me_ of all people?” He stopped right in front of the crown prince, still an angry frown on his face.

“Calm down, Doyoung. There’s nothing unhonorable about you. You know that,” the prince reassured him. “You did well in the meeting, please let it rest. I’m afraid it’ll cost you years of your life if you keep stressing like this.” He meant it. He knew how the other was. How he could beat himself up over little comments like these for nights.

The crown prince had been able to give his lover a short sign after the meeting ended, indicating he wanted to see him at _their_ place. This room had always been a safe haven for them. The library’s backroom was small, with only two wooden tables and a few seats. The walls consisted of shelves with books and scrolls, which made it feel cozy. It was a room used for teaching mostly and Youngho vividly remembered spending time here as a young boy, learning about their history and language through poems and books. Now it was mainly unused, besides by them.

The Royal Adviser sighed and sank down on one of the cushions next to the prince. “I know, Youngho,” he admitted. “I just- I hate people like him you know. That family… They’re full of hypocrites, bullies… Always hungry for money. I can’t stand it.”

The prince reached over to the other man and softly caressed his arm. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk about the meeting and about people he didn’t care about. All he wanted was to pay attention to _him._

“You’re not wrong… But didn’t I tell you to stop calling me that? To others, I’m prince Youngho. To you, I’m just Johnny. No formalities, Doyoung. Please. We’ve been together for so long now.”

Johnny was the name he went by when leaving the palace and secretly strolling through the capital’s busy streets. It wasn’t allowed, but he couldn’t care less. He was a free person at heart and couldn’t stand being a captive of the lonely palace. He was the first and only of his father and his mother - the latter had passed away while giving birth when he was six years old -, but he had no siblings growing up. There only were some cousins that visited once in a while.

Johnny was also the name with which he had met Doyoung for the first time. He remembered watching the then fourteen-year-old boy speak about the injustice of the capital in the middle of the marketplace. He was the son of a doctor but had more ambitions to go into politics. Johnny had been so moved by his honesty and bravery that he befriended him and eventually took him to the palace.

Doyoung had been shocked when he found out about his real status and almost wanted to flee the kingdom upon discovering he had said all these rude things to the crown prince. But Johnny wouldn't let him. It took some - read: a lot of - reassurance, but eventually, Doyoung could accept him as Johnny and not as prince Youngho despite knowing who he was.

Yes, they started out as friends, but things quickly changed; once Doyoung had settled into the palace as the Royal Advisor at an impressive, only age of nineteen years and Youngho was able to see him more often, their relationship had grown into something deeper. Steadier.

He had fallen so hard for Doyoung that it scared him sometimes - like a bird plummeting to the ground after it’s been shot - and their secret relationship had been a fact; now going on for about three years already.

Doyoung looked at him - almost through him - and he could feel the shorter man contemplating to lean into his touch. Youngho wanted nothing more than that.

“You looked dashing today, Doyoung. You always do. You always stand your ground between those old men. I’m so proud of you.”

He could see the start of a blush appearing on the younger’s cheeks. It was something he loved to see. He moved his hand to Doyoung’s cheek, brushing his thumb over the spot under his eye. Doyoung closed his eyes at the soft ministrations.

“You always give me compliments like that,” he hummed. “But everyone knows you’re always the _real_ show stealer.” He ended his words in a sigh when the prince’s hand went through his hair, stroking gently.

Youngho chuckled lightly at that and inched closer to the love of his life - at this moment he was sure he could never love someone else like this. He bowed down his head so that his lips were aligned with Doyoung’s

“Nobody is as beautiful as you,” he whispered. He waited a few seconds to let the words sink in and then finally closed the distance between them and connected their lips firmly. Doyoung exhaled heavily through his nose, and Youngho felt instant relief fill his being. Kissing Doyoung felt freeing; it was like the stormy clouds in his mind were being replaced by white, sun-filled ones - the promise of a good day.

Doyoung never really resisted, even though he always said that he didn’t want to kiss him in spaces other than their sleeping quarters. However, Youngho knew the risk of being caught was low, especially here.

It didn’t take long for Doyoung to find his way to his lap. Their lips were still locked together and Youngho held the younger in place with his hands on his waist, while Doyoung was holding his face, pressing himself against Johnny’s chest as close as possible.

It seemed like Doyoung needed to relieve some stress and Johnny surely wasn’t complaining. Lately, it had been a hectic period in the kingdom. The dry season was a disaster and the southern border was raided for the second time this month. They didn’t really have time to be together in private, to properly give each other love and affection. Johnny found it hard sometimes, not being able to be affectionate in public. But to protect Doyoung, he had to. Not only would it cost the other his job as the Royal Advisor if people found out about their relationship, but he also had the chance to be banned, maybe even executed. His father was a merciful man, but he was very protective of his son too.

Youngho could feel himself yielding to a desperate longing when Doyoung kept kissing him deeply, their clothed chests rubbing together. And so, despite wanting to give in, he stopped the kiss right then and there, pushing at the Advisor’s hips. Doyoung immediately got the hint and let his forehead rest against Youngho’s, panting heavily.

“I missed you,” Doyoung admitted in a whisper. “I see you almost every day, yet it feels like we’re more apart than ever.”

The crown prince smiled sadly at his lover. He felt the exact same way. However, they just had to be careful. If short moments were all they had, then they'd have to make the most of it.

“I still love you. Very much,” Youngho tried to reassure him. It made Doyoung smile and _that_ was really everything he needed at the moment.

“Me too. I love you too, Johnny.” Then mischievously he added a soft. “ _My_ prince.”

Youngho felt a flow of affection going through him. He instantly cupped Doyoung’s cheeks and kissed him slowly for a few seconds. The younger placed his hands on top of his.

“For eternity. I feel like I’ll love you for eternity.”

A bitter smile formed on Doyoung’s lips. “You know one day you’ll have to-” He didn't finish his sentence, but Youngho knew what he was going to say. It was not something he wanted to think about now.

“Don’t talk about things like that,” he whispered.

Doyoung nestled his head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent, murmuring an “okay.” The conversation ended there and instead, they wordlessly stayed in that position for a little longer, just enjoying each other’s company.

Their private moment was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Both men jumped at the sound, hearts hammering in their chests and ready to part.

“Prince Youngho!”

The relief the voice brought with it was instant. It was Jung Jaehyun, commander of the Royal Guard. And one of Youngho’s friends - the only one that knew about his and Doyoung’s secret and forbidden relationship. One of the few he would trust with his life.

“I am busy, Jaehyun. Come back another time!” He yelled back. Immediately he smiled at Doyoung. “Duties can wait,” he whispered to him. “I just want to be with you.” After his words, he leaned in and wanted to kiss him again.

What the prince didn’t expect was for Jaehyun to open the door. Doyoung yelped, almost jumping from Youngho’s lap and putting a considerable distance between them.

Youngho was outraged. He turned to his friend.

“How dare you-”

“I’m sorry, but it’s the king, Youngho,” the guard said. His eyes flickered shortly to Doyoung but quickly returned to him. He was a little out of breath like he had been running and distress was clear on his face.

The crown prince recoiled in worry. “W-what?”

“It’s the king,” Jaehyun rephrased. “He collapsed in the tea room. A doctor is already on his way.” His eyes shifted to Doyoung again. “I think it’s your dad.”

There was a moment of silence before Youngho was pulled out of his worried stupor by hands on his shoulder.

“Go,” Doyoung said, a serious expression on his face. “I’ll ask my father what happened later. _We_ can meet up later.”

Youngho nodded and quickly followed Jaehyun out of the room.

***

“Father!”

Youngho immediately rushed to his father’s bedside and kneeled down beside him. The guards were obviously getting nervous about the sudden proximity between the two, but upon hearing the chuckle from the king they retreated their hands from their swords.

The king’s quarter was spacious with expensive decor that was clearly royalty-worthy. A large bed stood in the center of it, with purple curtains, that had the purpose to protect the king’s eyes from the sun, moon or prying eyes, drawn to the sides. Youngho thought his normally so imposing figure of a father looked awfully small between the embroidered pillows.

“What happened?” Youngho asked worriedly. 

“He collapsed soon after the meeting,” One of the king’s personal guards explained, a concerned expression on his face. “We think exhaustion or stress might be the cause, but doctor Kim will arrive shortly to give us a proper diagnose.”

The king shifted a little upright against the stack of pillows and looked at his son. “I simply became unwell, so don’t wor-” But he couldn’t finish his sentence properly due to a coughing fit that wrecked through his body. His shoulders shook and the deep intakes of air between the coughs sounded very strained. Everyone inside the room fell silent after it. Youngho’s heart was beating loudly in his chest due to the concerning sight. He hadn’t realized it was _this_ bad. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

The king as per usual broke the heavy silence: He cleared his throat. “Youngho, I need to speak with you,” he announced. Dismissively, he waved at the guards. “In private.”

The guards were reluctant to leave but did as they were told anyway and soon it was only the king and the crown prince in the room. Youngho found the air too gloomy for his liking and tried to break it with his usual optimism.

“You should take better care of yourself, father. You’re not so young anymore. Shall I let the doctor bring some herbal tea? Advisor Doyoung’s father is well known for his healing medicine.”

The king shook his head solemnly. “No, I’m alright.” He seemed to think for a moment, staring at the wall scroll on the other end of the room with the inked image of their family that once used to be three.

“I need you to listen to me very carefully, Youngho.” He finally said, turning towards the crown prince once more. “This is going to be a lot to take in, but I want- No need you to be strong.”

Youngho was confused, but there was a knot in his stomach. “W-what are you saying, father? What do I have to be strong for? I don’t get it.”

The king sighed, deeply, as if it cost him a lot of energy. 

“I’m dying, Youngho. And I need you to start preparations to take over the crown.”

And that’s when Youngho’s whole world tumbled down.

***

Two weeks later the king died.

And Doyoung had to watch how Johnny had to take over all the king’s tasks without being given time to mourn. He had to watch him break down in front of him, not knowing what to do and doubting himself to be able to fulfill his father’s trust in him. His usually so optimistic character, something that Doyoung had always found both admirable and attractive, seemed to have dissipated and it broke his heart. 

The hardest thing, however, was trying to protect Johnny from the council. The old men were panicked at first but quickly tried to make use of the situation to manipulate the new king. Doyoung hated it. He did everything he could to refrain the smart men from gaining too much influence. Politics aside, he was struggling with how he could be of help to Johnny the most. Was it as his lover or as the Royal Advisor?

The answer probably lay in between, but in practice, it was hard to execute.

Doyoung pressed his lips together in a thin line. Sitting behind his wooden table in his private office, he rejected the nth epistle from the same, problematic council member with the request to become the king’s right hand.

After putting aside the frustrating letter, he let his head hang back for a moment, puffing out his cheeks and exhaling slowly. It was close to midnight, and the air had become a little chillier. The only source of light were the two lit candles at the corners of his table; the flickering of light and the silence of the late hours was Doyoung’s favorite environment to work in.

Dongyoung - going by the simpler name Doyoung ever since he settled into the palace - came from a good, well-off family. His father was a doctor and his mother was blessed with a melodious voice, which allowed her to travel with a group of actors through several cities in the kingdom. He also had an older brother, who served in the army and was stationed close to the eastern border. Five years had passed since he last saw him.

His father had taught him how to read and write and it had fueled Doyoung’s hunger for knowledge from a young age. Early on it was apparent that Doyoung wouldn’t become a doctor; he didn’t have any affinity with it. Politics, however, had always interested him greatly. He had his own ideas for how to change the kingdom, and his father had to stop him more than once from spilling profanities about the current system to his old man’s friends when they came over.

His mother had taught him compassion and to be among the people. He learned how to socialize, when to speak his mind and when not to. Doyoung was blessed with intelligent parents and he couldn’t thank them enough for what they did for him.

Maybe the fact that he had always been part of a loving family with whom Doyoung could freely speak about anything he wished, had made him spoiled in a way. Because now, when he was busier with keeping the council at bay and handling all kinds of problems, he felt lonelier than ever. The only other people he could have a conversation with were either the servants or some guards, but they didn’t dare to discuss important matters with him - they were scared that any negative words about the kingdom would result in punishment.

The thing about the late king’s death was that Doyoung was hurting too. He wasn’t the Royal Advisor for nothing. He had spent a lot of time with the king, one on one. Doyoung had always felt a little intimidated by him of course - as every wise man should be - but the king’s death had hit him harder than he originally thought. He had been a stable factor, not only inside the kingdom but in Johnny and Doyoung’s life as well. Now, after his passing, there was a certain empty space in everyone’s hearts.

Doyoung rubbed his temple and laid down his feather without wiping off the ink. It left a dark stain on the wooden desk. The Advisor couldn’t find himself to care. He eyed the pile of paper and envelopes that still had to be answered and groaned. At this point, he felt like he was going to die an early death from stress.

As Doyoung looked at his remaining work again, one envelope, in particular, caught his eye. It was paper of the highest quality and when he took it from the pile, he noticed an elegant blue seal, laced with gold. He instantly recognized the emblem as the weapon of the Nihon kingdom. He traced his fingers over the colored wax. A message from the royal family…

Curiously the royal advisor broke the seal and opened the letter. It was written in the local language, but Doyoung was a capable man; although he could not understand everything, he could probably decipher the message they were trying to send. He knew that technically he wasn’t allowed to read it since royal messages were first translated by an official interpreter before being read to the king himself. However, the palace was in such a messy state at the moment that Doyoung was sure the old wise man that usually handled translating matters wouldn’t mind.

And so he started to read.

The further his eyes scanned over the foreign words, the more his heart dropped to his stomach. And the more he felt frustration built up in his throat; a burning sensation that made him want to throw up.

_“And thus I’m willing to give away my child, Nakamoto Yuta, to the new king as a token of friendship between our kingdoms. A peace offering. A royal marriage will be of benefit for the both of us, I am sure of that.”_

Doyoung’s eyes skimmed over the part several times, praying that his translation skills were failing him and that he had interpreted everything wrong.

With trembling hands, he laid down de letter and pushed his chair backward. This was a joke, right? Johnny, _his_ Johnny couldn’t be marrying this… This woman called Yuta. How would he even inform the king about this? Johnny was dealing with enough already, this news would only devastate him further.

Doyoung knew Johnny loved him, genuinely. It was love with an intensity that scared him sometimes, but which he reciprocated fully. Of course, marriage and the difficulties around the subject had been a topic they had spoken about. But it really happening? That was something that felt unreal. Too far into the future to think about.

Until now.

Doyoung was trying to contain his emotions with all his might, but suddenly everything became too much for him.

In a wave of anger, he swiped his arm over the wooden surface of the table, sending all the papers on top of it flying all over the place. He regretted it instantly when he saw the mess it made and buried his head in his hands. Tears were on the brink of falling. Everything hurt.

Why? Why did he have to fall in love with the king of all people? Why couldn’t fate be kinder to them for once?

***

A multitude of arrows coarsed over the open field upon command. A few too high, making the traveled distance too short to have any impact, others too low; they too didn’t come far and only grazed the ground. Just a few made it to the wooden, life-sized dolls on the other side.

The pupils, ranging in age from fifteen to twenty just shuffled around awkwardly at the sight of their poor results, murmuring complaints among themselves.

Sighs could be heard from the three instructors who were observing the rookies’ progress. One of them, in particular, had trouble to contain his frustration. The tallest of the three, a rather new instructor that went by the name Yuto tried to stop his older friend from lashing out at the teenagers.

“Yuta, don’t-” He tried to say, taking hold of his shoulder, but the other shrugged his hand off. With an angry huff, he strode towards the pupils, who dispersed to let their trainer stand between them, and took three arrows from a random holder. Then he took the bow from his back and without saying anything he shot the three arrows after one another in the matter of a few seconds. They flew over the field and hit three of the wooden dolls.

He faced his pupils with a scowl. “That’s how it should be done. This is the level you should be at, yet you’re all treating this like some game. Do you think protecting your kingdom is a joke?” When he got no answer in return he added a frustrated. “Huh?”

“That’s enough, Yuta.”

Yuta turned around to see his mentor walk up to him. Yunho was his right hand and if it wasn’t for the law to state that every oldest son of the queen was to become the commander of the Royal Guard, the older man would’ve been the highest in command. Yuta was hyper-aware of this fact and treated his mentor with the respect he deserved, taking into account every advice he was given by him.

Yunho closed the distance and faced the pupils with a stern look. “What the commander is trying to say is that you should take your job and training seriously. We are to protect the palace. To protect the queen and the princesses and their caretakers. Without us, the kingdom will be in danger of becoming unstable. That’s a heavy burden, but a very honorable one as well.” He let out a sigh and a small smile appeared on his face. “Tomorrow we’ll start with physical training again.”

Some who dared, groaned or winced at the thought of the torturous exercise. Yuta took it over from there, having calmed down considerably.

“You’re dismissed for today. I lashed out because it’s _my_ family that we have to protect. You have a family with a mother, sisters or brothers, don’t you? Don’t you want to protect them? Keep them safe at whatever cost?” A few nodded with an embarrassed flush. Yuta continued. “That’s why I have to be hard and unforgiving when it comes to slacking off. This is the only way for me to teach you how to protect _your_ families. Now, put your stuff away and get out of here.”

The pupils shouted “Yes Commander!” in unison and took off in all directions, gathering arrows and putting away their bows. Yuta let out a deep sigh and turned to his mentor and Yuto.

“Sorry,” he said while scratching the back of his neck. Yunho placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re still learning. You’re doing great.”

Yuto nodded. “Yeah, that was a nice speech.”

“Yuppi! Yuppi!”

The three men whipped around at the sudden voice of a girl. A scowl appeared on Yuta’s face when he spotted his sister, waving at him from the stone porch at the side of the practice field.

“I’m never getting tired of her calling you Yuppi,” Yuto mused, stifling a chuckle behind his hand.

Yuta pushed his friend away. “Shut it.” Then he strode, as proudly as he could, towards his younger sister. She stood straight with shoulder-length brown hair, wearing a pink and orange fused gown only princesses were allowed to wear. In her hair was a white clip with a lily flower; it was something she wore at all times and was a gift from Yuta. She was still a child at her fourteen years of age, but Yuta knew she could be surprisingly mature as well. Sometimes, that is.

She greeted him with a smile, but Yuta wasn’t amused and put his arms in his sides. To normal people he looked imposing and intimidating in his uniform, but his sister ignored it completely. Yunho and Yuto came to a halt just behind Yuta, bowing towards the princess and greeting her with a “Your Majesty.”

“I said not to call me that in public,” Yuta hissed at her. The girl giggled and waved her hand dismissively.

“Oh don’t be like that.”

“Sakura!”

“Oh? Are you going to shoot me with an arrow? How scary.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

Yunho smiled at the sibling’s banter. It was a different side of Yuta that he enjoyed seeing. Sakura was always able to break through his former pupil’s tough shell. However, he noticed that Yuta’s patience was wearing thin and so he interrupted them as kindly as he could.

“Your majesty, to what do we owe this pleasure?”

Sakura turned serious in an instant and Yunho noted how much she and Yuta were alike in some ways. She looked at Yuta.

“Mother wants to speak with you.”

Yuta massaged his temple. He wasn’t always in the mood to see the queen. Lately, there had been some sort of unbreakable barrier between them and it made Yuta feel slightly uncomfortable. They had never been as close as she was with his sisters, being mostly raised by his aunt, but he held no animosity towards her.

“Does it have to be now? I have a meeting to attend later,” he answered her.

Sakura shook her head. “No. She insisted you came to her immediately. It seemed urgent.”

Yuto, who always seemed to get nervous whenever he was met with someone of the royal family outside Yuta, touched his friend’s arm gently.

“Go,” he said. “We’ll postpone the meeting and finish the clean-up.” Yuta watched his friend and chewed on his bottom lip - a bad habit he couldn’t get rid off.

“Alright,” he gave in with slumped shoulders. “I’ll go see mother.” He suddenly realized that his sister was completely alone. He looked around before focusing on the girl again. “Sakura…” He started in a warning tone. “Where is your guard?”

Sakura grinned mischievously and skipped backward, hands behind her back. “I told Kenta that Sanggyun was waiting for him in the garden.”

Yuto burst out in chuckles, while Yunho shook his head in amusement and Yuta sighed in frustration.

\--

Yuta bowed to the woman sitting on the red throne, adorned with gold ornaments, and kneeled before the throne with lowered head, one hand on his chest, the other on the handle of his sword.

“Queen, mother, how can I be of service?”

“Please Yuta, stand up straight.”

The way his mother said his name - gently, softly - made his head snap up confusedly. This was definitely unusual. Their relationship was okay, but ever since he had become head of the Royal Guard it had turned more business-like. This motherly tone was suspicious, to say the least.

But of course, Yuta obeyed his mother and stood up, albeit hesitantly. He was met with his mother’s smile.

“You grew up so well, my boy,” she suddenly said while rising from her throne as well. She was an imposing, beautiful woman, with strong eyes and ebony hair. Everyone always commented on the resemblances of their appearance.

“I remember when you were six years old and you tried to feed the ducks in our garden some bread.” She shook her head in amusement. “When I told you that it would be bad for the ducks’ health, you cried, because you didn’t intend to hurt them. It was adorable. Back then I already knew you would be an amazing man.”

Yuta didn’t get it. Why was she saying this? He felt a little embarrassed by the story and nervously eyed the guards in the room.

“M-mother, is everything alright?”

The queen moved her hands to her back and walked up to him. She was quite tall, age not ready to take her height away, and was only a little shorter than Yuta himself.

“Yes, my dearest.” She sighed. “I know I haven’t always been there for you. Your sisters are very important to this kingdom and it’s a rule I need to respect. But I’d like to think that you grew up with love from my sister, may her soul rest in peace.” Yuta felt a pang in his chest at the mention of his aunt’s death. He tried to shake it off.

“Why are you telling me this?” Yuta asked more urgently. “Is something happening? Are you feeling unwell?”

His mother shook her head.

“It’s nothing like that. We got news from our neighboring kingdom. As you know, their king died recently and the throne now belongs to his son, Youngho. The new reign is facing a lot of problems, especially regarding dryness and the lack of food. As you may know best, _our_ kingdom is struggling with defense. We’re very vulnerable at the moment and despite the Royal Guard’s best effort in improving.” She shot him a kind smile. “We need more help. When I go, I need to make sure my daughter - your sister - will be safe.”

Yuta gulped. “What are you trying to say?” There was an uncomfortable feeling in his gut as if he knew he wasn’t going to like what he was about to hear.

“ _We_ have fertile grounds and _they_ have an amazing army. We need to work together if we want to live in a warless world. At least for now.” She paused for a moment, seemingly preparing to tell him the bad news. “I and the council have thereby concluded that we need to bring the kingdoms together.“

Yuta started to become lightheaded, having a guess where this was going. His mother continued,

“The best way to do that is a Royal wedding. We have decided to give you away to king Youngho.” There was no room for discussion with the way she said it and Yuta felt white noise rush to his ears. He took a few breaths, trying to take in the news. He couldn’t; appearance aside, Yuta was very similar to his mother in character too, and so he was just as stubborn and defiant.

“This can’t be,” he uttered. “Royal weddings between men is not preferred. I can’t possibly marry now. I have to protect the palace from here. How can I-”

“Yuta,” his mother interrupted him and Yuta instantly stopped talking. His breathing had become shallow and his fists were balled. This couldn’t be happening. He didn’t want to marry, at least not now. Since he wasn’t entitled to the crown, he had always felt reassured to find love on his own. To have more freedom. This felt like a nightmare.

A hand appeared on his arm. It was a gentle gesture. “This is not easy for me either. I’d love to have you here to protect your sisters in person, but sacrifices have to be made. We all have to. I have heard that king Youngho is a gentle king. If I could I would’ve done it differently, but I have no choice and neither have you.”

Yuta looked at his mother with a pained expression. He felt betrayed, hurt, angry, frustrated.

“W-when do I leave?” Yuta asked through gritted teeth.

“In four days. I’ll make sure you’re comfortable and have your friends to guide you to your new home.”

Yuta stayed silent at the words, but his heart was beating like crazy. _Your new home._ How could she say that so easily? In four days he would have to leave everything behind that he had built up. His work, his friends, his sisters…

The hand on his arm suddenly felt as if it burned and he shrugged off his mother’s hold. It was a terribly rude gesture, his mother was the queen after all, and two of her closest guards took a step forward. Yuta gave them such a hateful look that they hesitated.

He bowed to his mother stiffly. “Thank you for this opportunity, Your Highness. I’ll make sure to prepare my personal belongings in time and to protect my sisters from afar.” The words were said emotionless. They felt foreign even to Yuta’s own ears. He didn’t look at the queen as he turned around to walk away.

“I’m just doing my duty, Yuta. And so should you,” his mother called after him. He stopped in his tracks, trying to let the anger and sadness in his chest dissipate.

“Of course. And I’ll do as you command. Please excuse me, I have to prepare my fellow instructors to take over as the head of the Royal Guard.”

With that he walked away, not looking back once.

Four days later, seated in his luxurious cart, Yuta regretted that _that_ would be the last memory of his mother.

***

Youngho found out about the marriage proposal through the old fashioned way; an official interpreter had translated the royal message for him. When he confronted Doyoung with it, the other already seemed to know the news; it showed in the way he avoided him and sought his distance. Youngho understood. It was a lot to take in. However, he was a little disappointed with his lover for not telling him about it himself.

Youngho tried to postpone answering the letter with all his might, but Doyoung had informed him they had to discuss it now or risk insulting the queen of Nihon. Reluctantly he had given in and requested for a meeting with the council.

As the king, he wanted to do what was best for the kingdom, but every time he looked at Doyoung, who looked stressed to the max, but still handsome, he found it hard to make a decision. He owed it to the Advisor to at least fight for him.

Doyoung was chewing on his bottom lip anxiously when he broke the silence that had fallen over the meeting. “Your Highness, we need to do something now. You need to consider accepting their offer.” God, Youngho hated it. He hated that Doyoung wouldn’t look him in the eye. That he called him that atrocious name.

“Doyoung! I mean-” Youngho quickly tried to fix his mistake. “Advisor Doyoung, I don’t think it requires my attention right now.” He couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to marry. He wanted to mourn his father, to be with Doyoung-

“Your Majesty, if I may interrupt,” one of the council members Kim Jinyoung said while taking place next to Doyoung. “I agree with Advisor Kim. Now is a crucial time. We may offend them if we decline their proposal. And as the advisor said before, the kingdom needs help. Their soils are very fertile. They’re known for it. Getting their support is mandatory if we want to survive next winter.”

Youngho stood up from his throne, angry, and everyone looked at the ground nervously. The sight of everyone submitting before him left a bitter taste in his mouth. He never asked for this. He wasn’t ready. His father was wrong to put his trust in him.

Another council member joined in, albeit still with lowered head. “It would be a wise decision to marry now. It would give the people something else to talk about as well. I believe it would put them at ease.”

“I-” Youngho started. When he looked down at the men in the meeting, Doyoung was suddenly looking at him. Right in his eyes. Youngho shook his head at him, but his lover nodded firmly as if to say _you have to._

“In these tough times it would be good to fall back on someone as well, Your Highness,” Doyoung told him. And although it was meant to sound reassuring, the king could see right through the other’s tough façade. He felt his heart break a little more.

_I just want you._

_You. I only need you by my side._

He absolutely didn’t want to, but if he thought about his father and what _he_ would do for the kingdom, then there was really only one option. Kings weren’t allowed to be selfish. They were there for the people of the kingdom. To rule, to keep the peace, to make the kingdom prosper. Not to be happy.

“Very well,” the new king announced after swallowing; his mouth was dry and his tongue felt like sandpaper. “I will accept their offer.” He didn’t dare to look at his lover. “I will marry the prince. I will marry Nakamoto Yuta from the Nihon kingdom.”

***

“A prince, huh? You didn’t tell me you were marrying a man,” Doyoung told him coldly when he entered the Royal Advisor’s bedroom.

Youngho had been able to sneak away from the other officials and guards. He was new, they weren’t used to him yet and it was something Youngho needed to use to his advantage, now it was still possible.

Doyoung was sitting on his bed, wrapped in a silky black bathrobe. Next to him lay a familiar bracelet - the one he had gifted Doyoung for his birthday last year. He had let it come from another kingdom overseas, where the craftsmanship was outstanding. Doyoung always wore it and only took it off before bathing. Now, seeing it laying there and not around his lover’s delicate wrist, was something that pained him. Deeply.

“I didn’t want to marry at all, Doyoung,” the king answered truthfully.

The Royal advisor chuckled humorlessly and looked up at the ceiling. He looked so sad. Youngho wished he could take the expression away and fill his heart with nothing but love. After everything the other had done for him, he deserved nothing less than that. However, the reality was harsh.

“But you will.”

Youngho understood the fact that Doyoung felt betrayed, but he needed his lover by his side to support him. It was selfish, but he couldn’t lose him now. It would ruin him. He wasn’t ready to be a king on his own. He couldn’t fulfill his promises towards his father without Doyoung.

His father…

He missed him.

“I- Yes.” Youngho wasn’t someone to stumble over his words - it was something that his old teacher had made sure of never happened. But now, confronted with _this_ situation and _these_ emotions, he just couldn’t find the right words.

Doyoung turned to him. “If it was a woman I could understand. You need an heir, I am aware of that. Been aware of that ever since we started- _this._ ” Johnny was surprised at his lover’s obvious disdain - as if he was to blame for everything that was happening. “But you’re marrying a man,” he continued. “Which means that- that after a while you will have to take another wife.” He laughed again, just as mirthlessly as before. “Am I really going to become the third one in your picture? I don’t think I can do that, Youngho.”

Youngho walked up to his lover with as much confidence as he could, sank down in front of him and grabbed his hands.

“No. No, please don’t say things like that. You-” He felt like bursting. Everything was spiraling down. He felt his throat close up. “You mean the world to me. You’re my home, my family. No one is ever going to replace you in my life.”

“You say that now, but let’s be realistic. You are the king. I shouldn’t even be in your presence. I could be killed for speaking casually to you like this.” Doyoung laid a hand against his cheek and Johnny’s vision became a blur. “Touching you like this… Maybe we should just accept that _we_ can never be.”

His words were so soft, but Youngho could hear them perfectly. 

He laid his head on Doyoung’s lap. burying his face in the black silk of his robe.

“Please don’t leave me,” he whispered. “I can’t accept it. I won’t.”

Fingers carded through his hair. “Like I can abandon you just like that… You know it’s not that easy. Nothing’s ever easy when it comes to you.” Doyoung sighed deeply then. It was clear that he felt tired, so _so_ tired. It took a few seconds of silence before the Royal Advisor spoke again. “Let’s be careful from now on. More so than usual. If someone finds out about us, it’ll be the end of me. And believe it or not, I’m not planning to die anytime soon.”

Youngho looked up at his lover and traced the other’s cheekbone with his thumb as if to map out his face and to appreciate his appearance once more.

“I love you, Kim Dongyoung. Only you.”

Doyoung brought his hand to the back of Youngho’s neck and pulled him towards him.

“Prove it to me.”

Youngho stood up and softly laid Doyoung down on the silky sheets, after which he climbed over him gently and shifted his hands so that they were on either side of the Royal Advisor’s head.

“What happened to being extra careful?” He asked with a hint of playfulness.

Doyoung hooked his ankles around Johnny’s calves.

“After tonight,” he whispered back. “This… Might be the last time in a while, so please, Johnny just-”

Youngho’s chest was filled with so much affection that his heart felt ready to burst. He didn’t know if it was a good idea to do this now. There were so many things he had to do, so many matters he had to think about. But for now… for now, the most gorgeous man in the whole kingdom was lying underneath him, staring at him with so much passion that he couldn’t refuse.

Doyoung needed him, and he needed Doyoung.

And so he gave in.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm actually really nervous (and curious) what you guys think about it, so feedback is more than welcome:)


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